If I survive this, I will have more empathy for your pain. I will extend my arms out to you with gentle love. I won’t ask you if you are ok and I won’t tell you it will be ok. Instead, I will ask if I can help, I will remind you that you are loved and I will walk with you if invited to do so.
If I survive this, I will remember that you are so incredibly beautiful. That you are created to be a Healer. I will remember that you show up in ways that blow my mind. I will know that you are Humble, Powerful, Brave and Divine. I will walk around in awe at the beauty inside of you and I will thank God for you. I will also thank God for the deeply wounded, sleeping Ones who walk around accidentally, unknowingly wounding others. Yes, I will easily thank God for them, too.
If I survive this, I will remember that sometimes you don’t know what to say. I will know that suffering is scary for you, too and I will be more forgiving of your silence. I will understand that your indolence comes from fear and not apathy. I will reserve a gentle place for you and your fear deep in my heart.
If I survive this, I will embrace Mystery. I will understand that I don’t have ANY of the answers. As my life continues, I will become more and more comfortable with not knowing and I will hold a deeper understanding of faith. I will be so grateful for having been given the opportunity to view my faith through grief and loss.
If I survive this, I will let my curiosity run wild again. I will unchain my courage to turn over rocks. I will fearlessly walk through spider webs. I will walk bare footed through muddy lakes and I will stay outside in the dark alone to embrace what scares me.
Finally, if I survive this, I will serve like I was taught to serve. I will listen better. I will show up for you, I will never tell your secrets and I will never participate in gossip. I will try to be more humble, I will practice bearing your load and I will smile for you so that you can smile back. I will fail, I will steady myself and I will try again. I will try again.